Some of you know D-Tension as the Bay State's resident comic rapper, an author of such mirthful gems as "Soccer Mom" and "I'm So Old."

Others know him as an accomplished underground producer who cut seminal heat for the likes of Slug, Encore, Termanology, and Vinnie Paz.

Perhaps you just know him as the old dude in the big t-shirt at the club who drinks way too much and makes young women uncomfortable.

To keep me from resembling a young mobster, my mom never let me sport gold chains or leather jackets. My beak rivals the nose that Double Dare contestants mine for flags on Nickelodeon; between that Roman asset and my inherent Kung-Fu hand-gestures, lustrous accessories make me look like Mickey Rourke in the Pope of Greenwich Village

If I tried to write about every one of the 30-or-so rappers set to collectively slap Unity Fest at The Paradise next Thursday, I wouldn’t have time to fuck around on Facebook and Twitter all day. It would also be a waste of time considering how much I’ve already written about so many of the marquee artists.