Airgasmic: Pop your cherry at the Air Sex World Championship

Everyone remembers the awkward yet exhilarating, and faintly uncomfortable, night that they lost their air virginity. If you've yet to pop your air cherry, don't feel ashamed, everyone moves at their own pace, and some people are just late bloomers. The other air humpers will respect you all the more for it. At least that's what we've heard.  

Still confused, and starting to feel a little inadequate? We'll explain. We're talking about the Air Sex World Championship, a rough n' tumble, balls-to-the-wall (sometimes literally) competition to decide, definitively, who has the best air sex moves in the air bedroom. Air sex is exactly like air guitar, except for instead of strumming an imaginary Fender you strum your imaginary partner's imaginary....well, you get the picture. Air Sex World Championship competitors thrust, jiggle, hump, moan and faux-climax at a number of nationwide events. One of which will take place right here in Boston on October 8, for which they're currently holding open calls. Needless to say, we are practically air humping our desks with excitement.  

The best part about air sex is that it's no holds barred. Imaginary air sex partners never belittle your sexual prowess. They don't mind if you make a weird/awkward/menacing face when you come (in fact, they encourage it.) And imaginary air sex partners are always up for anal. Always. You want to go ass-to-mouth with your imaginary air sex partner? No one is going to judge you for it, or make you gargle Listerine for 25 minutes. In fact, you just might up your score. In short, the Air Sex World Championship is the ideal place to bring your strange. And bring it hard. Contestants pick their own music (maybe a little "Bump N' Grind," maybe a little "Smack My Bitch Up"....it's a personal choice,) choose their costume (or lack thereof) and come ready to get down. We'll see you there. 'Cause we never heard of anyone getting crabs from a one night air stand.