The Phoenix's Cultural Shame

Someone here has never read me...

Inspired by a post on New York mag's Vulture blog, we tried to find out: what is the Phoenix staff's secret shame? What book are we most embarrassed to have never read? 

We got quite a few good replies, including Huck Finn and Wuthering Heights, but it turned out that there are a few of us here who have managed to miss those two. Somebody said Moby Dick, which prompted Nina MacLaughlin to pull out her copy and start quoting from it. We thought we had a winner when Deirdre Fulton copped to never having read 1984,  a book that we can't picture resonating quite as well with anyone who's past high school age. But then Will Spitz trumped us all with his confession to having never read The Great Gatsby, a book that everyone has read, and was probably required to read at some point. 

What about everyone else? Can anyone else top that?